There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
