just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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