i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
