its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
