I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
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