Have you finally orgasmed yet?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
even my farts smell like vagina
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
