He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize