This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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