She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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