Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
