whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
