I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
