he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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