Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
