Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
