Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
