she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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