Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
