Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
