my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My life is pants optional.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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