I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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