I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
