We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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