im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
