R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
