im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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