You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
