how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
