So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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