Plan B is the new Plan A
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you never un-have a 4some
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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