return my video game
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
