He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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