I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
