no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
