so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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