Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
