I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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