I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize