did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
