As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
