Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize