she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize