Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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