did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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