ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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