2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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