Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
