Four minutes until I can fart!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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