Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
