I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
bring money and cleavage
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
