Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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