And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
