Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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