Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
