As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize