We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
