Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
