But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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