Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
