He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
